Nightwatching (2007)

What do Lust for Life (1956), The Agony and the Ecstasy (1965), Caravaggio (1986), Basquiat (1996), Surviving Picasso (1996), Pollock (2000), Modigliani (2004), and Klimt (2006) have in common? They’re all biopics about famous painters. Of course, Mr. Man would be remiss not to include Nightwatching (2007) on this list. Under the pen and direction of arthouse auteur Peter Greenaway, the life of 17th-century Dutch artist Rembrandt van Rijn (Martin Freeman) comes to the big screen. The film follows Rembrandt as he relates to his wife Saskia van Uylenburg (Eva Birthistle); his later lover Geertje Dircx (Jodhi May); his long-time partner Hendrickje Stoffels (Emily Holmes); his painting student Carel Fabritius (Michael Teigen); and fellow artisan Gerard Dou (Toby Jones). At the core of this skinternational flick is the creation of Rembrandt’s masterpiece “The Night Watch” (1642). Not only is the work an aesthetic feat, it includes a coded message the artist used to expose a group of conspirators responsible for a vicious murder. In fact, Greenaway examines more than 30 mysteries associated with the painting in the documentary Rembrandt’s J’Accuse (2008). Luckily for us, said conspiracy isn’t the only thing that the movie at hand exposes. In other words, Mr. Freeman frees himself of clothing when he goes full frontal in several scenes depicting amorous actions with his comely co-stars. Check out Martin’s bare chest, bush, balls, butt and nightstick! Needless to say, this 17th century drama doesn’t need a lot of costumes. As such, Nightwatching should have been titled Nice Watching!