Pyrates (1991)

It's a hot time in the old town when Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon start getting down, because every time Kevin sticks his lantern in Krya's shed, things burst into flames in Noah Stern's Pyrates (1991). Yes, every time Ari (Kevin Bacon) and Sam (Kyra Sedgwick) have sex, a fire starts nearby and burns something to the ground. It's been happening since the combustible couple first met in a Chicago nightclub; they went out to the fire escape to fan the flames of love, and, sure enough, they both felt fireworks and the heat of actual flames. Obviously, it's becoming a problem for our quirky couple who end up torching everything from a teepee to a photo booth with their public sex sessions. Will their burning love turn the entire city to ash, or will their love flame out due to all the fires? The marketing behind this one was primarily based around Sedgwick and Bacon's real-life marriage, which is still going strong nearly forty years later. The marketing should've centered around the fact that Bacon’s smoky link is visible briefly twice during his amorous, incendiary encounters. On the fire escape there is some sizzling Bacon side slab and a glimpse of his pork rind. Later as he feasts on fur, his little piggy goes “wee wee wee” as it swings in the semi darkness. That’s some good porkin’. But by far the wildest scene comes when we see Kyra's sex fantasy, that involves Kevin in a Chicago Bears helmet, a jockstrap, and a priest collar. We're not here to judge, but you're gonna burn for that freakiness, Kyra! Maybe you'll be lucky enough to meet someone who's so good a sex match with you, you'll know what those boning sessions must've been like! With all those looks at Bacon's buns and balls, no wonder all us flamers couldn't get enough of Pyrates!