The Borgias (2011-2013)

Like all the "historical" dramas on premium cable, Showtime's The Borgias focused more on titillation than education. That's fine by us, since Mr. Man has always cared less about history than his thick, veined... so anyways. Created by The Crying Game (1992) director Neil Jordan, the show debuted in 2011 and lasted three seasons before getting the axe. The show stars Jeremy Irons as Rodrigo Borgia, an absolute schemer who becomes Pope Alexander VI in 1492. How's he make that happen? Largely by enlisting the services of his psychotically violent, badass of a son Cesare (Francois Arnaud), Cesare's sister slash lover Lucrezia (Holliday Grainger), and the opium addicted wildcard Juan (David Oakes). Rodrigo becomes Pope but doesn't think that requires him to stop banging all the babes in Italy. While he's chasing vag in the Vatican, Cardinal Giuliano della Rovere (Colm Feore) is so pissed he's not leading the church that he's traversing Europe trying to find someone to assassinate Rodrigo so he can become the new Pope, and a religious psycho named Girolamo Savonarola (Steven Berkoff) is blowing up in Florence by burning all the art and books he thinks aren't in line with a Pious life. The show set up a lot of plotlines about the fall of the Borgias family that we never got to see because it got cancelled too quickly, but we did get enough skin to think: Whoa, how gorgeous were the Borgias? By far, Cesare was the hottest: a fact that's pretty undeniable after seeing Francois Arnold's abs as he lies in bed after a sex session. Juan isn't so bad either, since David Oakes was always railing smokes, which let us see his buns as he was thrusting! Beyond that pair, Sebastian de Souza's ham hocks appear when he's bedding a babe, while Luke Pasqualino is ordered to strip for a woman who appreciates his firm fanny. Throw in shirtlessness from Fabiano Dantas Tavare and Augustus Prew and The Borgias had us begging for more ass!