Padre Pio (2023)

Acclaimed director Abel Ferrara - the man behind Harvey Keitel's iconic full frontal in Bad Lieutenant, mind you - is back with his take on a real life 20th century saint who allegedly showed signs of the stigmata. The story of Padre Pio has been brought to life on the screen before, but this is the first time that he has been embodied by legendary actor Shia LaBeouf. The real life Padre Pio became a friar when he was fifteen years old, and rose to fame when the Vatican examined him after his claims of stigmata became widely known. In 1999 he was even beatified by Pope John Paul II. The movie Padre Pio focuses on the struggle of working class Italians after the end of World War I. It is against this bleak backdrop that Padre's intense religious experiences occur. We're pretty bummed that Shia doesn't pull a Bad Lieutenant here, but we do see his ass as he has a nude freakout in the corner of a room. Come on, we thought this director was ready, willing, and Abel!